Where Do Weekends Go

It seems as though we zip straight from Friday night to Sunday night. The rest is just a blur.

Everything's clicking along nicely here on the health and fitness front. Weekends aren't quite as hard since I began scheduling trainer time on Friday night. That helps keep me focused on doing the right things throughout the weekend.

Had one of those blippy moments Thursday night. I was out shopping for new pants, and I was getting very frustrated. It seems I'm between sizes and nothing fits right. Add in a minor heat wave and a lack of dinner and you get one grumpy girl. At one point, the thought that all the workout time was for nothing, since I couldn't find any pants that looked good. I had wasted my time and hard-earned money when I could have just kept on doing what I was doing and my old pants would have fit just fine. No, they wouldn't have looked good, but they FIT!!

Fortunately for me, Rational Girl came running to the rescue to set Grumpy Girl straight. It's been a freaking week of workouts--at that point there had been a total of 3.5 workouts--and I can't expect my body to transform itself overnight. Sheesh! What was I thinking? Okay, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking about poor pitiful me, who hadn't even so much as glanced at a snack cake in six weeks. The one who spent a small fortune hiring personal trainers who made her sweat and chip her nail polish on the weight thingies. That poor girl deserved a Special Dinner. One that would make her feel better. It's the same kind of thinking that has plagued every effort I've made at eating healthier.

But not this time. On the way to the car, I decided my Pants-Don't-Fit Pity Treat would be an icy cold Diet Coke--the largest one I could find. I pulled into a KFC (a safe fast-food choice since I don't eat there, except I forgot about the chocolate chip cookies which I pretended they were out of). I ordered my drink, pulled up to the drive-through window, and awaited my fizzy treat. That's when the neatest thing happened. The clerk passed me my drink and said, "Have a great evening!" I waved my money at her, and she just smiled and said, "Nah, just enjoy it!" How nice is that? I told her so, thanked her enthusiastically, and drove off before she could see that my eyes were getting all blurry. I hope she knows what a generous gesture that was. Not the free soda. That cost KFC about 12 cents. In the space of 30-seconds, that clerk made me forget about my stupid pants. All I could think about was how bright her smile was and how good she seemed to feel doing something nice for someone.

And yesterday, when I tried on more pants at a different store, I couldn't even begin to feel badly when they looked pitiful. I just kept my eyes on the future, because I know that good things--big and small--are always there waiting, sometimes in the strangest places.

Until next time...

Sunday Pondering

Another week, another series of goals achieved. It has me wondering why this seems to be working now. It's not like I haven't tried most of this (excluding the trainers, which is a new thing completely) before. Why am I now able to eat healthy and exercise regularly? I've been thinking about it off and on today, and I've come up with a timeline, of sorts, that got me here:

1. In 2005, I learned that a new friend had, over the past several years, lost weight by exercising and changing her diet. That's not so unusual, except that she didn't work her way down to a size 2. She's a double-digit size, she looks great, and physically, she's the strongest person I know. She's also the first person I've ever known who recognized when it felt good and said, "I'm here." That's not to say she quit working at it. It's an everyday thing for her now (and it shows!) Everyone else I know keeps going for the lower numbers, and it occurs to me now that I don't know anyone personally who made it.

2. A little over a year ago, I started walking regularly. I tried to upgrade my eating habits, but it was kind of hit and miss. It seemed as though I couldn't get the diet and the walking/yoga working together. If I did one well, I let the other slide. A few times (dark days/weeks), I let them both go. But I always circled back to one or the other.

3. At the beginning of May of this year, I hit the treadmill again. At the same time, the Style Network kicked off a Make Me Over May campaign. Now, you have to know that this time last year, you could not have made me watch this channel if you had promised me a lifetime supply of Little Debbie's. I think my exact words were, "This is the worst excuse for a network I've ever seen." Fortunately for me, those words are fat-free and non-caloric, because Style's airing of The Biggest Loser was life changing for me. Here were fat people setting goals and meeting them. People my size exercising hard...and not dying from it. I decided to play along in my own version of a home game and cut out all the junk food from my daily diet.

4. In early June, I joined sparkpeople.com. I started reading articles on health, nutrition, and motivation. I set goals and began learning how to achieve them.

5. Last week, I started recording what I ate, paying attention to nutritional goals (calories, protein, fat, carbs), and ended the week by signing on with a personal trainer. I met my triceps. They're nice, if a bit unrefined at present.

So here I am. Nowhere near the end of this journey and not even sure where I am on the map. But it's nice to be off of the two-lane blacktop and onto the highway. I think, though, that I'll stay on this road rather than look for an expressway. It will take me longer to get there, sure, but I'll stand a better chance of arriving safely at my destination. :)

Have a happy...and healthy week everyone!

Mind Fritz

Okay, so the second workout was harder--nauseating, demoralizing, painful at times. And that's not even factoring in the actual exercises. I knew it would be tough, but I hadn't counted on the mental/emotional side of it. My mind is constantly at war with itself, with one part chanting, "You can't do this," while the other side says, "But you ARE doing it." I'm so busy trying to help the right side win that I find it difficult to focus on the important things like breathing and strength. I hope that changes over time. Next week would be good, since I have three workouts scheduled.

Speaking of other workouts...I bought three pairs of exercise capris today! One of them is even a size large (not XL). Of course, they kind of look like a pair of larges on a still-XL body, but I think it shows a sense of commitment. And won't it be fun growing into them. :)

It's hot here in Memphis and still no rain in sight. Hungry Girl sent out this recipe just in the nick of time: Cookie-rrific Ice Cream Freeze. Seeing that made me realize it's time to head out for dinner. And not a moment too soon.

Still Breathing

I survived my first session with the trainer, and I'm happy to report that I didn't die, nor did I want to die. I'm taking that as a very positive sign.

Today's workout was on the gentler side; tomorrow will probably be more of the same. They're easing me into it, and I appreciate that.

Per yesterday's post, I'm definitely going to be buying some more workout clothes. I' m tired of washing my single pair of exercise shorts, for one thing, plus I hadn't realized there would be m-e-n at this place. Granted, there's no socializing since we're in separate rooms, but you never know when you might bump into someone at the water fridge. Maybe if I'm wearing a cute top, they won't notice my beet-red-from-exertion face or the lovely aroma that proves I'm burning some calories.

I'm kind of proud of me right now.

Costume Change

I have a friend who teases me about my need for the appropriate attire for exercise. I tried to explain it to her the other night. In my yoga clothes, I'm tall and graceful. It doesn't matter that the woman in the mirror is dumpy and wide. If I put on my exercise shorts and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I wonder why that person isn't on the treadmill. Even if I hadn't planned on walking, I lace up the shoes and hop on the treadmill. I'm the suburban equivalent of FloJo, or perhaps one of those women wrestlers from Russia. I'm treadmilling for my country and I'm out front (there's no one ahead of me, so I must be winning). It's a costume. A chance at as if. As if I'm an athlete, as if I'm in charge, as if I enjoy excercising, as if I'm already at my destination.

But I'm not at my destination, not even close, and today I did something about that. I went to meet the folks at Fitness Together. They weighed and measured and did some godawful pinch test and wrote it all down in a red folder. Then they told me what it was going to cost. Ouch. It's in line with other trainer fees, but the kicker is that I have to pay it up front. You understand what that means, don't you? They're asking me to commit. They're asking me to invest in myself. That's low.

It's a lot of money, but in the end, not really a tough decision. My checkbook is in my purse, and I have my first session with a trainer tomorrow after work. Now I just have to figure out what to wear.

Sunday, Sunday

Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe Sundays? They feel so sad. Weekend gone, another lonnng week ahead. It's a vicious circle.

Another decent week on my goal work. I still haven't managed to walk for an hour a day more than occasionally, but the toes knows. I'm pretty much screwed at the whole thing if I don't get these things healed. A half-hour walk is good enough for now.

I bought hand weights today at Target. It's a convertible set up for 1-3 pound weights. Now I can do more of the targeted workout DVD.

A couple of changes/challenges for this week:
1) I'm using sparkpeople to record everything I eat. It's got a neat tool that breaks down all the nutrients and tracks calories. It also compares them to their recommended nutritional goals.
2) I'm calling a gym. I read about this company called "Fitness Together," which has a local franchise. They apparently have private workout rooms and trainers. I think that's best for me to start out. I'm not ready for the general public yet. More importantly, I seriously doubt the general public is ready for me. LOL

A few weeks ago I made a private list of reasons I want to maintain a healthier lifestyle and lose weight. Reason number 7: To be rescued, should the need present itelf. Now, I was joking at the time, or half-joking maybe, but the joke took a serious turn when I read this article.

'Woman left to die because she was too fat'
Angry John Teague has claimed that ambulance paramedics left his wife to die after joking that she was TOO FAT to lift.

Mr Teague, 58, alleges that the ambulance crew sneered that they would need a fire crew to lift seventeen-and-a-half stone Sandra Teague, 52.

Seventeen and a half stone is a little less than 250 pounds. According to the article, there were five ambulance attendants present. I'm no math genius, but I can work out this equation. And I'm outraged. I'm not sure what rips my heart out most--the insensitivity of the paramedics toward that woman and her family, or their ineptitude in being unable to figure out, between the five of them, how to get her to medical attention.

So what to take away from this that can be used for good? The article mentions that Sandra Teague had lost around 100 pounds and was on her way to regaining control of her health. I wish she could have achieved her goal here on this earth, but she didn't.

Unless, maybe...I think I'll print out Sandra Teague's picture and put it on my bulletin board. She will be in my heart every single day, constant evidence of success, and a brutal reminder that life is incredibly, horribly, wretchedly unfair sometimes.

I think I'll print out reason #7, too, because they don't rescue fat people.

I need yoga.

Free Time, Brought to You by Lifeblood

I saved a life today. Or so the folks at Lifeblood assured me. In exchange for saving a life, I get a night off from exercising: Lifeblood's orders! So now I have free time until 9:00 and House Hunters on HGTV, and I thought I could take up your valuable time with some ramblings...

As one might expect, the experience of giving blood was not without incident. I might have caused a minor scene when the lady next to me (I mean elbow-touching close) started eating a bag of Fritos and wave after wave of the greasy, fried smell breached the gap and threatened to asphyxiate me. Fortunately, I was able to move, though not without a wee altercation with some guy who had appointed himself Cot Police. It all worked out though.

While I was lying there s-l-o-w-l-y saving a life, I did come up with a brilliant idea. But first, a caveat: I fully support medical leave for pregnancy. I think it's one of the best ideas since pantyhose or Tampax. Until now.

My idea builds on the original concept of medical leave for pregnancy by incorporating it with the concept of crop subsidies. You know, where the government pays farmers for crops they don't plant? In my new plan, women who choose not to have children will receive medical leave for not having children! To be effective and fair, there will have to rules:

• Enrollment will require a visit to the gynecologist to determine whether or not the enrollee is not having a vaginal delivery or not having a C-section, but the office visit will be covered by her medical plan. If no determination can be made, the proram will split the difference by awarding the enrollee seven weeks leave.
• Enrollees are limited to two non-pregnancy leaves, except in Utah, where four leaves are permitted.
• Unplanned non-pregnancies are not covered by this program.
• The program does not extend to childcare programs or absences for tending to a sick child. (Note: It is believed that this savings in lost wages and productivity is what will make the plan attractive to companies, so don't push it!)

That's as far as I got before they told me I could leave, but I'm going to keep working on it. (Should a holiday be declared in my honor, I'd like for it to be held in March.)

I briefed my manager on the fundamentals of the plan, and--good news!--she didn't say no. She gave me a benefits card, but unfortunately it was the number of the Employee Assistance Program rather than the Benefits Coordinator. I'll get the right card tomorrow.

And with that, my free time is up. Happy Friday Eve!

A Sad Sunday Goal Check

It's pitiful when you can't remember to do the one thing on your to-do list for Sunday night, isn't it?

Not a bad week, but not a great one either. My toe problems continue. They're basically a mess of blisters and corns. I took Friday off from walking and on Saturday, I didn't do any of my scheduled exercise (I cleaned house instead!). I found these toe separator thingies at the drug store, and on Sunday I went to the zoo and walked for almost two hours. No pain until the very end! I'll try the treadmill for a half hour tonight and see how that goes.

I also tried out a new exercise DVD: Ten Minute Targeted Workout for Beginner. The idea is to work on one ten minute thing each day until I feel like I can start chaining some together. But I'm not supposed to work on any area two days in a row. I like the trainer and the abs targeted workout is tough but attainable. I'll try it out for a couple of weeks.

A few weeks ago a friend sent me a link to zenhabits, and it's now one of my favorite sites. Over the weekend I found a great link, Top 42 Exercise Hacks. It's going to help me a lot.

I'll post a pic from my zoo walk later today, but for now I should get back to work.